Autistic Inspiration

I am no one special. There are no songs written about me. No billboards bear my picture and still no books have my autobiography in mind. I am just a mom from a small town in Tennessee. There is nothing grand about me. I have been in love a few times and fallen out of love twice. The world will still turn long after I'm gone, but there's one thing that's extraordinary that I've been apart of and that makes me whole. I am not empty and I am not missing parts. You know it's funny, I didn't know your heart could survive outside your chest. And no, I don't really think a heart can prosper outside a body. A proverbial heart if you will. That's the thing about being a mom. Mom's hearts are outside their body. I was born on September 3rd, 1986, to two people who've taught me more about family than anyone could. It's pretty awesome when your parents can be in the same room. And they even have the same last name. Please, don't think I'm judg...

First, I would like to apologize for the length of time between posts. Combination of writer's block and hideous sickness. I'm on the mend and will hopefully have answers to these headaches soon. Now, onto the good stuff. I read an amazing and inspiring post on Facebook today and it gave me a fantastic idea on what to write about. I want to share with all of you why I'm so blessed. Amazed really. I hope you find a smile on your face when you read this. I am amazed that on August 19, 2010, I gave birth to a one of a kind, smart, happy, wonderful, soul enriching son. I am amazed at the overwhelming amount of support that I receive on a daily basis from everyone about Noah's progress and well-being. I am amazed that such a tiny soul could fill my heart with such joy and love. I am amazed that there's absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for this boy. I am amazed that I've met and fallen in love with such a wonderful man who accepts me for who I am and doe...

It's 9 PM. I've been listening to my baby holler and cry for a good twenty-five minutes. So, I go in his room. It's a sea of tears and snot and sweat from all his hard work at trying to get me to come and get him. He has succeeded. He reaches out to me with Pooh and puffy, sad, puppy dog eyes. How am I to say no? And what kind of person/mother would I be if I left him in there another second? So, I grab him up and he squeezes me so tight! Hugs! He's really charming now. It's over. So, I take him in my room. He giggles and pulls the covers up around him. We trade hugs and kisses and tickles and he gives me hug around the neck with both arms. I close my eyes and take in this hug. I know that tomorrow he has to go away for the weekend. It's 9:45 am. He's dressed and ready. He has all of his overnight items. The time I'm dreading is drawing closer. We put on socks and shoes. And one last diaper check. He grabs Pooh and I put on his jacket. We get in the ca...

Several weeks ago, I had a dream one night. I woke up gasping and crying. I was relieved that it was only a dream. It was the middle of the night between 11:00 PM and 2:00 AM. Noah's cry was intensifying over the baby monitor. I wiped my face and staggered into his room. He saw me, grabbed his Pooh and reached for me. Noah has bad dreams, too. People ask me all the time, "How do you know he's having bad dreams if he doesn't talk?" Mother's intuition is my only answer. It's an anxious, scared cry. Like he's begging for the scary things to go away. So, I scoop him up and carry him to my room. At this point, I'm hugging him so tight. He falls asleep before I even walk the ten steps to my bed. So sweet and serene. I lay there. Awake. Anxious. Scared. Panicked. In my dream, my baby was dead. Wonderful, smiling, life saving Noah was dead. He lay there in his tiny white, shiny coffin. I will never get that image out of my head. There is no greater fear ...

First of all, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who read my first blog. I appreciate all the likes, sweet comments, shares, and conversations about my sweet boy. The outpouring of love and support is truly heartwarming and we all need a little encouragement sometimes. I feel like the Grinch. My heart has grown two sizes! It's amazing how much you can learn about someone's heart with a little blog about a sweet, Winnie the Pooh loving little man. Secondly, many people have said that Noah is so lucky to have a family like us. Or how lucky he is to have a mother like me. That's one of the sweetest things I've ever been told. And to each of you that said that, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart. But, I have to disagree. Not because I think Noah is unlucky to have a mother like me or a family like ours but because I am definitely the lucky one in this situation. Noah doesn't care if I burn the cookies. He is unaffected if he doesn't have the lates...

This is the story of life's purpose. My reason for being on this planet. Thanks for the read... Noah was a beautiful baby. When the nurse handed him to me, he looked at me as if he'd known me for years. His look of familiarity was comforting. A rush of feelings and blood fled through me. Here I was, 23, and a mother. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. And all those people who said it would come naturally were right to an extent. It took a little time for this motherhood thing to "come naturally." August 19, 2010 at 5:24 PM my station in life was now different. I was responsible for this little wrinkled dude named Noah.  Fast forward approximately eighteen months. Life was different now. I'd moved back in with my parents for reasons I won't bore you with. I was separated from my husband for reasons I won't rehash. I had a new job that I was settling into nicely. Noah and I were recovering from all the changes. And I thought we were doing gr...